Yesterday I wrote about God being good. I quoted the mom of a local girl who in the face of tragedy and trying to recover said – “It’s a faith journey for us, just the trust and the hope and the belief that we are held by God and there’s nothing that happens that’s outside of his sovereign care for us,”
When I look back at our time in the NICU, and now with the thought that we may go through some NICU time again, I often wonder how we made it through.
We spent 33 days in a foreign place, that speaks a foreign language trying to make sense of up and down, and yet we walked out whole and ready for the next thing.
I truly know the peace that passes all understanding. And I know that during those 33 days we were held by God. We stood in a room where machines were often doing more for our son than we could. But in those moments we didn’t stress (too much) and we tried to stay calm. But we also knew in those moments that we were not in control, neither were the doctors. God had his hand on the situation and kept Gray and Brian and I safe the entire time. He kept us safe during those 11 weeks of bedrest, and through two bouts of preterm labour, and the real thing. And we knew in our heart of hearts that we would take our son home healthy and whole.
And here we are, pregnant with another little one. And believing that God is in control of this.
The week we went into the doctors to confirm our pregnancy and get a referral to our new OB, we went through the normal battery of tests. And the next week I got a call from my doctor’s office. I am no longer immune to rubella. I had the shot about 8 months before we got pregnant with Grayson, but in the over two years since then I am no longer immune. We’re not sure why as I’ve now had 5 rounds of the MMR immunization, but I’m not. Normally not a big deal, but it just happens that our region is due for an outbreak and a lot of parent’s have chosen not to immunize their young children until they have to in order to enter the public school system. So right now we trust God, and we stay home.
I know that God has a plan for this baby, and had its destiny planned before it was formed. And I know that his hand is on this baby and will protect it and me from harm until it’s time for the baby to arrive. And I know that God has blessed me with a great community of girls who are there to have coffee dates with me on Google Chat, and encourage me when I haven’t left the house for 10 days straight. And remind me why I do this.
And if we happen to end up on bedrest again, I know I have my bedrest moms. The group that helped me through with Gray, and the group that I stop in at every once in a while to encourage those moms, I know there will be someone there encouraging me.
There are times in our lives when everything is going great, and we don’t see the little things that God is doing for us, the thing he has set in place, but in those hard times, when we examine our situation, we realize just how much God is there, holding us and guiding us through the hard times.