From the monthly archives: "October 2012"

It’s been a bit since I did an update and so I thought I would update you all on what’s going on here.

Frist off – My dad is home now! He came home from the hospital on Saturday afternoon, and he’s so excited to be home. He still has to travel back and forth from Toronto for physio and clinic appointments, but he gets to sleep in his own bed. He and my mom popped over to my place on Sunday afternoon for a bit, and it’s the first time my dad has ever walked into my house without his oxygen. In the 4 years that we have been married, and the year before that that Brian owned the house, he’s always had his oxygen with him. It seemed a bit surreal. He told me that he walked up the stairs at home and it was the first time ever that he wasn’t out of breath at the top of the stairs! They have been in that house for 11 years! It’s just amazing to hear things like that. It gives me hope that someday soon he’ll be running around with G.

Saturday Morning in bed – where I spent my day

Okay – if you follow me on Twitter or Instagram (and if you don’t why not!) you’ll have notice that things have been a bit crazy babE wise the last bit. Last weekend I was unsure what was going on, and this weekend things weren’t going great. So after I spent a lot of time in bed this weekend, I was able to get in to see the doctor on Monday morning. She checked things out, and isn’t 100% sure what’s going on and why I’m in as much pain as I’m in. Part of it could be round ligament pain, but that doesn’t explain it all. So I came home with not as many answers as I wanted, and need to figure out what to do with Grayson since I’m not physically up to taking care of him right now. So starting next week Grayson will go to daycare 3 days a week, and Gramma’s one day a week, and on Mondays we’ll hang out together and at least I get Gray for one day a week. I’m on day two of him being away and I miss him like crazy. This week he’s off at Gramma’s a few days and daycare a few days. Right now he’s just too active for me to keep up with him, and it’s not fair that he be stuck inside all day just because I have to be. So as hard as it is to see him walk out the door with Brian every morning, it’s what’s best for him. And at least I’ll have my Mondays (for now).

16 Weeks – off to see babE

 

I did get to see babE today and I’m feeling so blessed that this little bean is growing big and strong. Not sure if we got any answers from the ultrasounds today, I’ll find out at the doctor’s on Thursday morning. babE seems to have a good strong heartbeat of 145 today, 148 yesterday, and I’m excited that in 4 weeks we’ll be able to see if babE is a girl or a boy. I’ll try and keep you updated on what’s going on – hopefully by the beginning of next week we’ll have a game plan for the next 22 or so weeks will look like. Or even just the next 2 weeks.

It’s a gloomy Friday here, but it’s Friday none the less. Our nanny is getting married tomorrow!!! So while she would normally be here on Friday mornings to help me out a bit, I’m full time mom today. While G’s up napping I thought I would have a coffee date with you guys. Alissa over at Rags to Stitches has been doing coffee dates on Fridays for a while, and I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to link up.

 

So let’s have coffee!!

I would love to hear about your week and some of the changes that you’re embracing, so link up! More info can be found here.

 

First Moments as Mr and Mrs.

36 years is a long time! I’m 28 and I feel like 36 is a long time from now. It’s hard to imagine 36 years being married. Today my parents are celebrating their 36th wedding anniversary. And to be honest I have no idea how they’re feeling.

Last year my dad was in the process of being listed for a transplant, so my sister and I wanted to really celebrate their 35th anniversary. Honestly we didn’t know if it would be the last anniversary that they had together or not. So we had a big party with everyone who was important to my mom and dad, and celebrated their life together.

Today is a much much different day for them. Dad is doing really really well, but he’s still in the hospital. But I can only imagine how it feels to know that they have many more years to celebrate together.

This is a letter I wrote my parents on their anniversary last year. Every word is true today.

 

 

Mom and Dad,

I’m unsure how I am so blessed to have you as parents. When I think back on any life changing moment in my life you have been there to support me however you could. You supported my dreams and brought me back to reality when I needed it, and for that I am truly grateful.

Through my life you have taught me so many things. Mom you taught me how to make Kraft Dinner, and even better, how to make homemade macaroni and cheese. You taught me how to keep a house and have dinner on the table, no matter what time daddy called to say he was going to be late. You taught me how to support someone even when you don’t agree with the person’s choice. You taught me how to sort laundry and the ramifications if you don’t sort it properly. You taught me what it means to be a wife and mother. That being a mom means making others matter.

Dad, you taught me how to fend for myself in the wood shop. I know how to connect receptacles, and what each different coloured wire mean. You taught me how a man should treat a woman; how a husband should treat his wife. You taught me perseverance and what reaching your end goal really means.

And you have both taught me faith. In moments when nothing seems to make sense, you always turned to God, because he was the one who could make sense of it all. You have shown me what faith really is, that faith is more than a feeling or a belief, that faith is who we are.

I’m very grateful for the example you have been of what a God based marriage, and marriage centered family really is. I have learned so much of what being a wife really is. You have taught me that love is not just an emotion, but a choice; that when you made a covenant before God on your wedding day it wasn’t to always be in love and lovey-dovey, but to choose to love each other no matter what your emotions were saying. Over the last 35 years life has happened, there have been hard moments, and great moments, and in every moment I have never doubted that you love each other.

I’m so thankful to have you as parents to guide me, and love me.

I love you so much,

Jacqueline

 

Mom and Dad,

I couldn’t be more excited and joyful over the amazing gift you have received. I know that every day you have together will be counted as a blessing. I am so blessed to have you as parents, and as grandparents for my children.

 

We love you so much!

 

A friend and I were having a conversation last night and she asked me “How did you learn to be so passionate for prayer?”

I can’t really find a defining moment when it happened, it just happened. In late 2009 I joined a prayer team at my church. In joining you had to make a commitment to pray for an hour a day over the area that your team was set to pray for. At that point in life I spent an hour a day on a cardio machine, so simple, I took my prayer list and bible to the gym with me and prayed while I was staying fit. And yes I read my bible on the elliptical at the gym, and yes I got strange looks, but I made that commitment. Then as I wrote about over on Carly’s blog, our prayer team started to study Prayer by Richard Foster, and one of the points he made was that prayer should be a habit, that we should be constant in prayer, that it should be as natural as breathing and just a frequent. So since I was driving for between 35 and 45 minutes to work 5 or 6 days a week I would pray on my way to and from work. I would throw on an instrumental worship CD and pray. It became such a habit that now whenever I’m driving I pray.

Then in 2010 we started our journey to become parents, and we started our journey on bedrest. While I was on bedrest I picked up my knitting needles and crochet hook and started making baby blankets for all the little ones my bedrest momma’s were carrying. With each stitch I would pray for them. Pray for them to grow big and strong during the time they had in the womb and that they would be healthy and whole when they were born and grow big and strong. I prayed for the destiny that God had for each and every one of them. I spent a lot of time knitting away and praying those days.

Our rocking chair with the blanket I made Grayson in the NICU, praying with every stitch.

When Gray was born we spent a lot of time in the rocking chair in his room. A LOT of time. That little man needed to gain some serious weight (let me tell you I was sick of weekly weight checks at the doctors by the time they came to and end). So we would probably spend about 8 hours in that chair, sometimes on the couch on the main floor, but usually in that rocking chair. So after about a week of just sitting and trying to figure out what to do at 2am for 35 minutes, I started to make lists on my phone. People we could pray for, situations that we could pray for, people we were thankful for, the prayer list at church, and my favourite was to just pray over Grayson and his life. First thing in the morning and right before we put Gray down for the night I would pray over his life, and our family and our day. I found that during those moments that sometimes seemed so monotonous, I found joy in praying. I found I had purpose when I was praying. Yes I had purpose while Gray ate, I was providing him with much needed nutrients, but I could multitask and feel just so much more productive. As my time sitting in that rocking chair decreased so did my prayer time, and I had started to really love it. And I loved how I felt while I was praying, so I found other things that I didn’t love doing so much and started praying during those things. Dishes, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, folding laundry. I found that when I was in prayer my attitude towards these chores changed. I loved standing at the sink looking out the back windows praying for the public school behind out house. Or standing in our bedroom folding a weeks’ worth of laundry and praying for our neighbourhood.

 

I’m excited for the time to come when Grayson and I can start to pray together. For him to be big enough to put words and thoughts together. To stand cooking dinner and pray for Gramma who taught Mommy to make Macaroni and Cheese. To thank God for the good hugs that Gramma gives, and that God will make sure that Gramma has a good day. I’m excited to pass my passion for prayer down to him.

My passion for prayer just happened. It started with one small thing, a commitment, and it’s grown. I can’t imagine my day without a few hours spent in prayer. Then again I can’t imagine a day when I’m not doing dishes, folding laundry, or even just driving. So I guess every day has some point for me to pray in it.

Are you passionate for prayer? Is it something you can work on? Do any of these things help you? I would love to know when you pray and how you add prayer to your day. I’m always looking for new things.

 

Big sale this weekend only. From now until midnight on Monday night you can get your choice of

 

4 mini prints for $10.00 USD – Order here

6 mini prints for $15.00 USD – Order here

all 14 mini prints for $30.00 USD – Order here

 

 

ALSO – because I had to leave Influence early I still have journals! and I’m going to put them up for sale just for this weekend.

Order your journal for $20.00USD. Use WATERLOO for free shipping this weekend only! Order Here

 

and remember this teaser I put on Instagram earlier this month? Saying that if you weren’t at Influence you would have to wait until after to find out what it was.

Well here it is.

This is a vinyl mirror cling. It’s oval in shape and I am so so excited to have it in my shop. You can get it for $4.00 USD no shipping!! Order Here

 

If you have any questions please contact me – email me babEblessings@rogers.com, or on twitter or facebook. Can’t wait to put some of these goodies in the mail for you!

 

I came across this picture while I was looking for something else. I had no idea I had it, my mom must have uploaded it when she was babysitting one night in the last year or so. (I love finding treasures like this)

 babEblessings, babEGrayson

This was May 2011, so Gray would have been about 4 months old. He’s wearing the overalls we bought him when I was about 10 weeks pregnant. The first thing we ever bought for our babE. It didn’t matter that we had no idea if Gray was a boy or girl at that moment, because well as Speers Grandbaby can’t live without overalls. They’re newborn sized, yet his little 7lb 4 month old body was still a bit small for them. I remember that I had to tie knots in the straps because they wouldn’t go any smaller. My daddy’s in his overalls, his usual outfit. You see because of how much of my dad’s lungs weren’t usable they had started to push his internal organs out and stretch out his diaphragm from the weight. You know how a helium balloon looks after it’s deflated, that’s how lungs look when they’re no longer usable, so my dad had a lot of pockets of unusable lung. So he wore overalls a lot. They were comfy and didn’t put a lot of pressure on his stomach. It’s become a tradition that we have to have overalls in every size so that Gray can match Grandpa.

When I look at this picture today I see Gray in a pair of overalls that his little brother or sister will wear, and my dad with his big beard (it keeps his face warm while he’s out riding on his motorcycle in the cool spring) and an oxygen hose that babE2 will never see. babE2 won’t use it as a teething toy; it won’t be a part of my dad’s wardrobe once babE2 is here. babE2 won’t have hours of fun playing with the button on dad’s oxygen tank that makes the display light up. But babE2 won’t live a day when Grandpa S won’t be able to keep up with him or her. And really Grayson won’t remember my dad with oxygen or shallow breath, or the inability to tickle him for more than a minute.

When this picture was taken I wondered if my dad would be here for Gray’s first day of school, or to hold our second child, but God has blessed me with my dad. He’s blessed Gray and babE2 with a Grandfather who will be able to take them to the park, or show them how to play the sax. Every day on this journey I’m reminded of the little things that will change now that my dad has new lungs. I’m so thankful for the big things, but also the little things.

 

 

Every time I think of church when I was younger I see my dad on stage playing his saxophone. I remember hearing him play and how he let his worship envelop him. My dad taught me how to worship in your own way. To use those things you love the most as your worship.

My dad picked up a saxophone in high school and until he wasn’t physically not able to play anymore he played every week at church at least once. And the amazing most amazing God part of this is that he way he worshiped is the thing that kept him healthy as long as he was. And even still his muscles in his lower lungs were so much stronger than they could have anticipated and stronger than the average person. Playing for so long strengthened his lower lungs and kept him strong. God’s used my dad’s way of worship to keep him healthy for as long as he could.

Dance was my worship. Is my worship. And dance was something that kept me healthy. When I was younger I was diagnosed with severe childhood asthma. We now know that I carry the gene for my dad’s disease, and because of that I have had lung problems. So when I was younger my respiroligist suggested to my parents that I start an activity like dance so that it would help me build my cardio and help me learn to breath. So I started ballet, and fell in love with dance. Since them dance was the way that I worshiped. And dance has helped me stay healthy. It’s helped me build my cardio so I can do things like run around with Gray. It means that I’m able to keep up with Brian when he goes for a run, mind you I’m on my bike but still 5K in 30 minutes is still pretty fast.

I truly believe that when we worship whole heartedly God will use that and bless us. God blessed my dad with the ability to keep breathing and retraining his lungs so he could use the portion of his lungs that did function to the best of his ability.

 

Are you using your worship? Are you using the things you love the most to worship, as a form of worship? I would love to hear  about it.

 

 

While I was away at Influence (which got cut short a bit by my Dad’s new lungs) I wrote a post for Carly over at TexasLoveBirds with my thoughts on prayer, and making prayer a habit.

Go check it out and let me know how you integrate prayer into your daily life and make it a habit.

 

There are so many things that have blessed me over the years, and so many things that have made me feel so blessed. But these past few days have been the most blessed days of my life. It’s hard to explain how amazing it feels to know that one day soon my dad will be running around with my children, when there were days when I didn’t know if he would even hold my children. To know that we’ll have coffee dates soon and he’ll be able to finish his thought without having to stop to catch his breath.

I have been so blessed by a family who could give my dad years with my children, years with my mom, and years of coffee dates with me.

And I feel so blessed by all your prayers and thoughts for us.

But in the midst of feeling so blessed I can’t help but wonder how the donor’s family is coping. I’m constantly praying for them, praying for peace, praying that they know how much their choice has blessed others; have blessed me and my family.

So please take a moment today to pray for my dad’s donor’s family. And every day. Please pray for donor’s families all over. Through their grief they make a choice to bless others sometimes not even knowing how much of a blessing it really is.

Mom and I are resting tonight at the hotel. Dad is doing well, as well as we can expect. Thank you again for all your prayers and positive thoughts. They are truly a blessing to us.

December 31st is a day I celebrate every year a bit differently than most – you see December 31st my godfather, my Uncle Ralph got a new liver.

And now October 12th is going to go in my calendar forever. Because on October 12th, 2012 my dad was given the gift of life and he received new lungs.

I can’t share all the details. But I can tell you that I will forever be grateful to the family who through their grief and loss was generous enough to choose to bless us, and bless my dad with a new pair of lungs.

I truly believe in God’s perfect timing. And through this whole thing I have seen God’s perfect timing and his hand over provision and protection. We’ve been through two calls. And then this one.

The surgeon couldn’t say enough how good the lungs were. And the fact that he was in surgery for the minimum time is amazing. I won’t get into the medicine too much, since most people won’t understand it, but they didn’t have to put him on bypass, or use donor blood at all, and he was awake just hours after he was out of the OR. My sister called me yesterday on her way home around 10pm, to say that they had taken him off the ventilator – 8 hours after surgery!

The last 331 days that my dad has been waiting have been an inner battle of trust. Trusting in God’s perfect timing, trusting the lungs would be a great match, trusting that my dad would stay healthy enough to have the surgery. But the fact that everything went so so well is proof to me that God had his hand on the situation the whole time.

The next bit I’ll be spending my time taking care of my mom and dad, and babE2 as well. So if it takes me an extra day to get back to you please be patient.

Also – if you have questions or would like an update please email me. I have disabled my facebook page for comments, as well as my personal page. I will update as often as I can via twitter and facebook, however please only rely on information from us. Information passed from person to person can get distorted.

Thank you so much for all your prayers over the last year, and over the next days and weeks. We appreciate it so much.

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