So I’m sitting here writing this post Sunday night and as I look at my planner to see what’s planned for Godly Wife this week I’m almost in tears.
Today has been a day. Like a DAY, well maybe just an evening but I really hope that I don’t have to repeat it ever. My kids have decided to gang up on me tonight. I spent over an hour making one of our favourite meals, Chicken Parm, only to have Gray decide he didn’t want to eat it. We’ve been having this battle a bit lately, one that both Brian and I have agreed we’re not going to give in on. Missing a meal isn’t going to hurt Gray, he’s usually a great eater, but when he decides he doesn’t want to eat something he’s not going to eat it, and we’re not going to give in an give him something else. Which is really really REALLY hard when he’s sitting at the table pouting and crying, and you haven’t slept well in about 3 months. And then on top of that Aurora has been unsettled for the last few days, I don’t know if it something I’m eating, or what might be happening, but all she wants is snuggles and to scream. So tonight as my son was screaming at the table, and my daughter was screaming in my lap, I was crying trying oh so hard not to give in, and not to feel completely defeated.
In that moment could I have chosen to be joyful, probably not. But it does remind me that I can choose my attitude. That I can choose how to react and I can choose what my next steps are. I could have given in and set a bowl of apple sauce in front of Gray because he wanted it and it was easier. I could have handed R over to Brian, who would have been as baffled at her screams as I was. Instead I stuck to my guns with Gray and agreed with Brian that it was time for bed if he wasn’t going to eat. And I snuggled up Rory, rubbed her back, and prayed that she would be comfortable soon.
In marriage, just like parenting we’ve come up against some less than agreeable situations. There have been things when I’m amazed at the actions of others, and the fact that Brian and I are left to pick up the pieces. There are times when I could just give in, go for a run and ignore what’s going on, the same applies for Brian. There are times when all we want to do is just make the situation go away. But we’re adults and marriage doesn’t work long term if you just put band aids on things, so we make a choice. We choose what’s right not what’s always easy.
Choosing our attitude and reactions in marriage are so key. Choosing to be joyful despite what life it throwing at us is hard, and sometimes the first step is to choose not to let a situation defeat us. Choosing our attitude and choosing joy sometimes starts with just taking a deep breath and reevaluation the situation and deciding to put one foot in front of the other and make the choices that are right, and not the easy ones, and choosing to be okay with that.
This week is a busy week, and even though I’m not sure how I’m going to get through the whole week, I do know that I can take one day at a time, and one moment at a time, take a deep breath and choose how to react and what my attitude is.