It’s April! We missed March, but I think we’ll catch up on March come January 2014 when things have gotten back into a rhythm for both us and Virginia too. (baby 3 is on it’s way for V and her family and I’m so excited for her).
I have always believed in God’s perfect timing, and well this month couldn’t be better timing. The last 7 weeks of life have been more than a bit crazy! And to be honest there have been times when I’ve let my circumstances choose my attitude rather than choosing it myself. Now we’re home and getting used to life as a family of four.
Now that I’m home and after being in bed for so long and G not being used to me being his primary caregiver. Really not unexpected, for almost ¼ of his life I’ve been in bed or in the hospital with Rory. Listening skills and acknowledging my authority haven’t been happening. Definitely not what I’m used to. So there have been moments in the last few days when my frustration has threatened to take over. So instead of letting the frustration in I’m choosing Joy.
Choosing joy isn’t easy! And choosing joy in your marriage is sometimes even harder!
1a : the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires
b : the expression or exhibition of such emotion
2: a state of happiness or felicity
3: a source or cause of delight
Hmm!! Emotion evoked by well-being, success or good fortune. A state of happiness. A source for delight. Yup – none of those apply in moments of frustration. So how do we choose it and why?
I remember in the first year B and I were married he traveled a lot. And I mean A LOT! He would be gone for weeks on end, home on weekends, or one day a week, but gone quite a bit, I think when we totalled it up he was out of town for more than 8 months by the time we hit our first anniversary. During that time my attitude stunk when it came to say good bye to him. I hated his job, I hated that he had to leave me home, I hated pretty much all of it. Since then my attitude has changed. Although I’m not excited when he leaves, I am happy that he has a great job, and that his boss trusts him with the responsibility of some of these jobs.
To be joyful is to maintain a good attitude even when faced with unpleasant conditions.
My attitude in that first year; not good! But since then I’ve turned that into joyfulness. I started to look at it from the other side of things. Brian and I got to spend concentrated time together. We were able to have Jac and Brian weekends, and the time we did spend together was so great! We were really purposeful with our time. It was still hard to say good bye, it still is, but I always look forward to seeing him again, and I try to plan something that we can do together just us for when he gets home.
This week we have a crazy week! And the fact that Grayson is still adjusting to being a big brother and having me home full time too has made it even crazier. But before Brian popped out the door to another appointment this afternoon we made a date for Friday night. A movie date at home, but still a date. A time for us to sit and just be for a bit and enjoy some us time.
No we don’t always have something to look forward to when we’re in the middle of something. That’s when it’s hard. I have no idea when Grayson will get used to listening to me again. I have no idea when we’re going to have a day without multiple timeouts before breakfast. And that makes it so hard to choose to be joyful, to choose to have a good attitude despite the frustration. There is no end date, there isn’t a day I can mark on the calendar. So now it’s a practise in choosing joy. To take a deep breath and put a smile on my face and remind myself that this too shall pass, and it will feel like it passes a lot faster if I have a smile instead of a scowl on my face.
This month I’m working on choosing joy! The morning B goes back to work, I’ll choose joy instead of letting the thought of no help take over my day. I’ll choose joy when I have to send Gray for his 10th time out of the day (pray with me that we never have 10 time outs in a day!) And I’ll choose joy when I’m getting out of bed after a long night with Rory, and not let my exhaustion affect my attitude towards everyone else.